Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments!
My friends and I went skeet shooting today. I have shot a few different shotguns, but I have never shot the M4 Benelli. This was the second time it laid against the shot gun rack so enticingly beautiful and intimidating. I have always wanted to shoot it, but fear would always win. I finally decided to give it a shot. As I walked up to the line my heart was beating out of my chest. What if I looked stupid, or what if the kickback was too much for me to handle? So many thoughts going through my mind. Part of me wanted to take the easy way out and go back and exchange the M4 for a shotgun I was used to, but something told me to overcome my fear and push forward. My hands were sweating and I could have thought that people could hear my heartbeat from the opposite side of the range. I loaded the gun I took up my stance and breathed out slowly. I yelled pull and pulled the trigger missing the first bright orange skeet shooting out of the center of the trap shoot. I looked up and although disappointed I missed, excited that I got through the first shot and my fear was gone. I continued to try over and over again and finally after four shots I hit one. Pure joy, I did it!!
As I was driving home and thinking over the day's events I felt God convicting me on my obedience to Him and Him asking me the question, why do you not fear me as you should? I feared the M4, but do I lovingly fear God in the right way? I have to admit that there are certain things that God has been asking me to tweak in my life to be more Christ-like, but I keep brushing Him off because to be honest I just don't want to change those things quite yet. I do not like change. I haven't feared Him like I should, and by fear I don't mean that paralyzing fear of wanting to run away in the opposite direction. I mean the respectable fear where I am afraid of disappointing Him. The fear that wants me to be obedient to Him, to glorify Him.
I was reading a prayer that Lysa TerKeurst put up today on her website www.LysaTerkeurst.com about praying for God to unsettle her. She said this:
"Unearth that remnant of justification. Shake loose that pull toward compromise. Reveal that broken shard of secrecy. Expose that tendency to give up. Unsettle me in the best kind of way. For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me — dark and dingy and hidden away too long — suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul."
I want that to be my prayer today, tomorrow, and the days after that. I want the Lord to give me that fear of Him so I long to be obedient to my Lord and Savior. I want Him to unsettle me so that I strive to live for Him and not of this world. I know it's going to be a hard road, but I want God to show me the behaviors that are stuck in the deepest parts of me that I need to get rid of.
Not only do I want to work on the behaviors that I need to change, but I don't want to be intimidated anymore for things that I know God wants me to do. Things that I feel are so beyond me, that I have no idea how to accomplish. I want to trust Him to the point where I just answer "Yes Lord" without hesitation.
I hope that you will join me in prayer to live a God fearing life and to live with a bold faith.
I ask that you unsettle me Lord. Please show me the loving fear that you so deserve to have. I pray that you will give me the strength and wisdom to have a bold faith of no hesitation when it comes to living according to your will. Thank you for the love, mercy, and grace that you have given to me.
In Jesus name we pray, Amen.