I Am Chosen

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.  So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.” – Ephesians 1:3-6

What does being Chosen mean to you? 

My daughter, who is 12, auditioned for Oklahoma a few weeks ago, and as she waited for the results, I asked her what happens if she wasn’t chosen?  She immediately said she would feel sad and unwanted.  I’ve felt like this 12 year old many times – “sad and unwanted”.  Before Christ, my identity was based off of acceptance of others.  I wanted to be “chosen” so badly I often made decisions that would ensure my spot in this group or that group. When accepted it was instant gratification, although short lived because I soon had to fight for my right to stay in that group.  I still felt like I had to find my perfect place to be understood, often being like someone else – mimicking someone else’s behavior to be liked. Don’t get me wrong – I chose to do everything I did.  I was fully aware of the consequences.  Although none of that mattered.  All I wanted was to be loved, accepted and CHOSEN.  You see, I was seeking acceptance from everyone BUT God. 

In my teens and then 20’s I remember saying I wanted to be married.  Innocent dream for most, but this desire went much deeper for me.  I wanted to be chosen.  I tried to manipulate guys I was dating to choose me, to no avail.  Instead, I was left feeling “sad and unwanted”.  It was a vicious cycle.  I was seeking acceptance in all the wrong places.  Thankfully God also chose my husband, Justin.  I admit when I first met him I felt chosen.  He sought after me, loved me, and chose me to be his wife.  But as I sit here in this reflection, I realize that God chose both Justin and I to be together.  We were both already chosen well before we ever met.

So what does this look like today?  Knowing that God chose us long before we even existed allows no room for pride to set in.  We had nothing to do with it.  I didn’t have to act a certain way.  I didn’t have to wait for someone to pick me.  In reality God had to wait for me to finally reach out and grab the hand that He had already extended.  I admit it took me awhile to choose Him. If there is any regret of my past it is that.  So here is God Almighty who already chose me long long ago, just waiting for me to seek and choose Him back.

Then there is me, who thinks I can do this without Him… and therefore denied Him time and time again. Like Peter who denied Jesus (Matthew 26:34), God knew I would deny Him, yet He still chose me!! Thankfully when He chose me, He already knew how stubborn I was and would continue to be. He knew the journey I would have to take to finally get to Him.  So He waited patiently.

As a parent of a 12 year old, I admit my husband and my patience run thin with our daughter at times.   As her parents we see what her potential is.  We see just how she could affect the world in a positive way with her gift of empathy.  We want her to understand this gift now so she can use it immediately.  It is sometimes frustrating because she is not mature enough to fully understand what this means or how to use it.  So we wait patiently.  To see what God will do with her and this gift.  We will have to go through some struggles and trial and hope her journey leads her right where God intended her to be.  These trials will be painful and frustrating. But we will never give up on her, because the love we have for her outweighs all the mess she has and will gets herself into. 

I say all this because it’s the only way I can imagine what God felt like waiting for me to come to Him but on a much bigger scale. As He sat patiently waiting for me I’m sure He was painfully watching me make decisions that would lead to consequences that I would not like.  He may have gotten frustrated because I would make those decisions again and again never learning the lesson He was providing..  I remember when I finally turned and chose Him. I felt this immediate LOVE like never before.  I felt complete in that I had finally been ACCEPTED.  HE chose me long long ago, and now we can live together in harmony, on the same team.  Being chosen to me means my acceptance is no longer in other people.  It is solely in Him.

Do you ever feel like you are missing something?  Like you are searching to fill this void and nothing will quite fill it?  We are here to tell you the solution has a simplicity to it that you would have never thought possible.  It is whether or not you are willing to accept the hand of Jesus as He has already CHOSEN you.  If you need prayer or would like to reach out to learn more, please contact us on our website www.women180.org

Debbie L. Wayns