"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
My name is Courtney Kacer. God has been laying on my heart to start writing and to tell my story. So with a lot of doubt and prayer I took a step of obedience and I started to write a book about my struggles and how I have overcome them through Jesus Christ. My book has now just been released called Rescued From Drugs to Jesus by my maiden name Courtney Smith. I never thought about blogging until my brother mentioned to me that I should also start blogging about everyday life and how we can go through struggles that come our way, learn from them, and strive to live a life glorifying God. So here I am trying it out. Below is my life story to learn a little bit about where I was and where I am now. I'm excited about this new journey ahead of me and I hope it helps inspire women out there to love Christ as He loves us.
I grew up in a loving christian home with the normal struggles of any family, but who would have thought that I would turn from my family's faith and get involved with drugs, alcohol, and sexual promiscuity. By the time I was a senior in high school I was over going to church and I wanted to do what I wanted to do, so I started to rebel. Rebel against my family, against church, against the faith that I thought I had, against my life as I knew it. I wanted to find myself and invent a person I thought that I should be.
I wanted to feel loved and accepted but my family's love and acceptance was not enough. I wanted the acceptance of my peers, and I wanted to find the love of my life. Growing up I was constantly teased in school and it increased my desire for more attention and acceptance than ever before. Whatever I could do to get the attention of others I did, because even if the feeling of love and acceptance was temporary, at least I was feeling it. That want and desire turned into me partaking in activities that included smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex.
I thought that if I partook in those things that I would be viewed as cool and the life of the party. I wanted everyone to know me and want to hang out with me. In my search for love I was looking in all the wrong places, in fact looking back I had no idea what love was. I thought that if I slept with men then they would like me more and then I would be on the next stage to getting married and having a family. I was lost, so very lost. What happened to me and what happened to the morals and values that my parents had instilled in me? How did I become so lost and stray from the faith that I knew?
I came to the realization that my faith up to that point was not a faith that I chose personally, but a faith that I had grown up in. My head knew everything I needed to know to make a decision, but my heart was not connecting. God needed to soften my heart so that it was my choice to believe in Him and no one else's. The void in my heart that I continued to seek through avenues of this world was never going to be filled by temporary pleasures. It could only be filled by God's love and acceptance and knowing my identity in Him. Unfortunately, it would take several more years for God to catch my attention.
Although I had stopped doing drugs years before I became a christian I was still lost and still trying to find love in all the wrong places. I went back to school and got my BS in Accounting and my MBA, but there was still something missing. I had a great career, a roof over my head, education, friends and family, but why did I still feel like I had a big hole in my heart. For the longest time I thought it was because I didn't have a husband and a family, but it was really God that I was missing. God finally revealed Himself to me in only a way I would accept and I never looked back after that.
I started going to church on a regular basis and I felt like a whole new person. That void that I felt for so long was beginning to be filled and I couldn't be more full of joy. I wanted to serve the Lord who gave me the best gift I could ever ask for; mercy, love, and grace.
It has been about 5 years since I had my big A-HA moment and came to accept Christ in all that He is and I try to serve the Lord in every way I can. I help lead a women's recovery group for my church, and I am active in other ministries. As I go through every day life I am amazed at how easy it can be to live for this world instead of for God and the struggles we have every day. My hope is that through this blog we can highlight those struggles and learn to live more for the glory of God rather than the pleasures of this world.
I hope you will enjoy everything to come and I pray that God continues to use me as His messenger to other women to be bold in their faith!